I thought of this line when often I have come across people and including me focusing on the wrong things and getting really worked up over trivial encounters. We often forget we always have a choice within us to steer our focus from negativity to positivity or even looking at the big picture.

Let me tell you a story of two friends, who chose to focus on different aspects of their relationship, strangely there is no right or wrong, both are right in their own accord, but given a choice (pun intended!) I want to choose the friend who chose the brighter side. Hoping, if you encounter such a situation, which you may, you will remember you always have a choice.

Here goes! There were two friends, who met in a forum of singles who went through similar situations of separation, divorce, trauma. Over the years, they gave support over each other’s situation, mostly coping mechanisms to deal with their ex partners for co parenting battles. Which can definitely stress anyone. They both found each other’s company in a foreign land, being from same country of birth and spoke the same language, and mostly they stayed friends because their boys were of the same age and had a playmate whenever it was possible to meet. In their busy schedules, they did make an effort to catchup for playdates, and they went to movies together, and met up for lunch and dinner. As every human being is wired differently, these two friends had very different views of life, and parenting styles as well. They often had a difference of opinion in every catchup over various topics. However, one friend chose to focus on these aspects of their friendship and kept bottling up by building inner resentment on the other friend, who had no idea of this. The other friend, chose to cherish the moments they shared together, chose to see a friend as a support person. The next time, they met up, the friend who bottled up resentment chose (again!) to burst open with the most bitter words possible to this friend, blaming all the resentment as caused by the other, and that his/her’s happiness depended on the way the other behaved, spoke or did anything/something. Well, in the end the bitter friend chose to break off with the other friend, who was very surprised by this outburst and extreme measures. Also, felt it was completely unnecessary given what both had gone through in their lives.( I agree!)

What is the point of this story? Just to remind everyone, we all have control over our own life and especially emotions. We have a choice to look within and examine why am I getting disturbed by a barking dog, parking lights, loud music, a friend who is annoying , differing opinions etc., Can I despite all these external noises, look inwardly for a space that is calm, peaceful and ground myself there! Can I see positive aspects or choose to bottle up and not handle my emotions well. What do you think?